By Renee’ Fulkerson
Definition of lonely:
Being without company: LONE
Cut off from others: SOLITARY
Not frequented by human beings: DESOLATE
Sad from being alone :LONESOME
Producing a feeling of bleakness or desolation
I have had feelings of loneliness focus on the word feelings. When I verbally expressed this to a friend, she reminded me that this was a state of mind and not the reality of the matter. That got me thinking yes, I could reach out via phone, facetime, Skype, or physically show up to another human being and connect.
Although, that last part may be a bit difficult given our current situation.
I have been able to continue to teach my regularly scheduled YogAlign classes I am very grateful. Why because I work with a small group of regulars and one student generously offered to host our YogAlign classes at her home. Which, may not be the case for many yoga teachers, students, and beyond.
For the students and myself that meet several times a week for YogAlign Class, this is part of our community, relationships, and for some a lifeline. We can continue to move our bodies, fill our diaphragm with deep full breaths, and best of all smile, and laugh with one another. Keeping our spirits as well as our immune system/ body happy and healthy!
My mom is a perfect example of a lonely state of mind. She is in her early seventies and has attended her regular exercise classes at her local YMCA for years. This weekly ritual has been her lifeline as she lives alone. She can join in community with others in group classes, socialize a bit before and after classes and then get her personal workout on. Due to our current situation and not having that resource she is having all the feelings mentioned above.
Across the ocean on Kauai, where myself, husband and teenage son live. He also is feeling some degree of loneliness. For him, it is manifesting in feelings of boredom, unmotivated, and lack of engagement. For most seventeen-year old’s school, every week is their lifeline. Meeting in community for classes, socializing during lunch, before and after school. With his school being completely virtual (online) he is missing out also on connection.
The Solution? Sometimes you haft to get creative.
We packed up all things precious to a seventeen-year-old (his gaming computer) and sent him across the ocean to his Grammys. This was not necessarily easy for dear old mom and dad but, it felt right and he was all for it. Although none of us were sure how this would unfold? I haft to say we all have been pleasantly surprised with the outcome thus far.
It has been a little over a month now and there is more comradery, movement, and breath on both parts. How? Aside from having a change, they both are doing for each other. Meaning my mom is motivated to get up and get creative with cooking, work in the yard, and take walks with her grandson. Joaquin is spending less time gaming (on his computer) and out of boredom, also cooking, running errands, and again taking walks with his grams. With more movement, breath, and a few laughs, this keeps their mind, immune system/ body, happy and healthy.
Remembering loneliness is a state of being (a feeling) is half the battle.
I mentioned in another blog post that we can connect with the physical. sometimes it’s easier than spiritual as it is more tangible. We can connect with unpleasant feelings just as easily as pleasant feelings like joy. Once we can get motivated and get our bodies moving with gardening, going for a walk, or practicing YogAlign some level of happiness will follow. You have everything on your side to succeed in-breath, purposefulness, and movement. Maybe you won’t always have a partner by your side but, you still can create joy. I find listening to music with headphones or a book on tap/ podcast while participating in activity proves to be a great companion.
The Movement does not always haft to be a grand gesture. Washing the car is a pretty good workout.
As a YogAlign posture educator, I will be teaching and practicing YogAlign postures during class. I never show up teaching with a planned class I teach to the energy of the students. During these last six months, the energy has varied from day to day. With some comments before class being, I am just happy I am awake and got here. To follow up comments after class, “am I going to be a lump today”? YogAlign was my accomplishment for the day. I now feel motivated to get other things done after my YogAlign class. All good stuff I recommend honoring how you feel days you need to be a lump and other days a firecracker.
I like to be playful when the energy feels heavy. For example, after travel has opened back up a few of my students who also happen to be grandparents will be traveling to see their precious grandchildren. Some of those grandchildren are infants and toddlers who spend most of their independent time on the floor. As they begin to lift their heads out of curiosity. A necessary phase to create the natural curves in their spines. Littles are born with a C-shaped spine and with head lifting and crawling, they start to create the natural S curves in their spine. I teach YogAlign postures that will allow them to get down on the floor, move around comfortably and trust their bodies to perform pain-free doing something they love with someone they love. When students are lying on their back on the floor in their last full-body stretch or practicing self-massaging they think savasana (final resting pose) is next. I instruct them to come to standing. There are not too many times during the day when you come to standing from lying on the floor next we have a glorious and well-deserved final resting pose.
Practice getting up and down off the floor from lying on your back or stomach postures a few times. It’s all about movement.
That is the beauty of practicing YogAlign pain-free yoga from your inner core consisting of real- life movements. Practicing movements that reflect who you are and how you live and want to live your life. We can all tap into feeling joy instead of loneliness. Syncing movement with breath is a beautiful way to get there.